He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
