remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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