god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
