I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
