So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
