Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You've changed since you got that strap on
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
