Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
