Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
