Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
