Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
