This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
