Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
