Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
