well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
