This girl is more easily done than said...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
