If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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