I love having hate sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
