my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
