she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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