why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
