all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We are two peas in an std pod
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
