I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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