guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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