I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
