your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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