Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
50% drunk capacity currently
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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