Non-Jews are for practice
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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