That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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