just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
