So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
