I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
