I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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