omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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