i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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