i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
