I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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