Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
