just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
