similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
