Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are we still banned from the library?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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