The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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