I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
