what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
