Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
