Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
