genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
