worst night to have a conscience
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
