I bet he comes in French.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
