But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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