I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
