I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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